Bill Clinton

What a scumbag. He's on Meet the Press, talking about how great McCain is for not asking for special treatment because he was a POW. I'm fine with him saying nice things about John McCain, but how about sticking to things that aren't blatantly false? You couldn't watch the Republican convention for more than five minutes without hearing a graphic retelling of the beatings he took at the hands of the North Vietnamese. I don't blame McCain for this, but the last thing any Democrat needs to be doing is reinforcing the absurd idea that he is honorably declining to exploit his captivity every chance he gets. He used it to explain his fondness for ABBA, for Christ's sake.

Then Bill is asked about Obama, and he starts with his "unlimited potential," like he's a fucking sophomore small forward declaring for the NBA draft. Brokaw picks up on the seemingly less-than-ringing endorsement, and asks why he thinks Obama isn't "great" yet. Then Bill goes into "I'm not allowed to say what I really mean so here's how I'm going to hint at it" mode, and he mentions right off the bat that Obama was a state senator five years ago. But of course, Bill assures us, as soon as he becomes president (a prospect he characterizes as probable but no sure thing), he will surely improve people's lives in such a way as to reveal his greatness.

Next time I see Bill Clinton on teevee talking about Barack Obama, I want him to pause from lavishing superlatives only long enough to savage John McCain as a dishonest and mentally deteriorating asshole. I think painting the "O" campaign logo on his face would also be a nice touch, to prevent the kind of confusion that could arise from interviews like this about which candidate he supports.