Barry Bonds was surly with reporters! He evaded questions! C'mon, Cletus, let's round us up a posse!
Give me a break. Barry's an SOB, and he's not going to answer questions on the BALCO investigation (remember, grand jury testimony is sealed and the leaking of it is a crime) but it doesn't make Steroid Hysteria any less ridiculous.
ESPN's opinion polls on the subject are just rock stupid. Today's is fairly obvious:
"Following Tuesday's news conference, are you more or less inclined to believe Barry Bonds used steroids?"
68.9% More
31.0% Less
How about that? I tell ya, nobody beats ESPN when it comes to getting the hard facts on the general public's gut feelings. That's insight you just can't get anywhere else, except possibly by hanging out at a sports bar for 10 minutes. That was actually one of the more reasonable questions. Recently they ran one with the following question (or a close variation thereof):
"Who is the single season home run champ?"
a. Maris
b. McGwire
c. Bonds
Bizarre question? You bet. The leading vote-getter was Maris.
Probably because the poll was placed directly under 2 or 3 steroid articles, ESPN.com readers were made to understand that the poll question was actually a referendum on the legitimacy of Bonds' single season HR record, and McGwire's before him. There was also a "Is Barry Bonds a Hall of Famer?" question.
This is lunacy. Show me a positive test for a banned substance and I'll start calling for asterisks and banishment and whatever else. But leaked grand jury testimony and Confrontational Press Conference #132? Please.
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Barry Bonds is one of the friendliest young men in the world and I find it difficult to fathom how anyone could possibly think otherwise. He is delightful, thoughtful chap who is beloved by all his teammates, and I simply do not understand why people cannot see that.
Stop picking on Barry! Don't you know that he is about to become baseball's career home run leader?
Sometime soon, next year, or the year after, Henry Aaron’s career home run record is gonna be broken. Barry Bonds has 703 home runs. Hammering Hank’s record stands at 755. Do the math. It’s gonna happen, sure as the acne on Jason Giambi’s back.
Hank Aaron, in his prime, stood exactly six feet tall, weighed one hundred eighty pounds. If you saw him up close on the street, you’d say he looked like a very fit average size human being, not like one of your basic modern ballplayers with a butt out to here and a chip on his shoulder the size of a cow turd and forearms that make him look like a circus geek.
Hank Aaron’s swing matched his attitude. Crisp. Elegant. Dignified. When he smashed a home run, which was often, he did not stand at the plate, like Barry Bonds does, and admire the ball in its trajectory. Hank ran the bases like the rule book said. Hank was into the integrity of the game. The one thing he wasn’t into was himself. Some people think baseball needs more Hank Aarons and fewer Barry Bonds.
I disagree. Baseball does not need Hank Aaaron's dignity. Nor does it need his integrity. Baseball's been getting along fine without either. If you wanna know the truth, nobody connected with baseball cares about dignity or integrity anymore.
Time was, though, when almost everyone cared. A popular film underscored how much people cared. "Field of Dreams" was the name of the film and it was released in 1989, one year prior to what I like to call baseball’s Steroid Era. In the movie, James Earl Jones delivers an impassioned speech in which he says, regardless of the times, you could always count on baseball to be a standard for decency, dignity, excellence and doing the right thing. It was a powerful moment.
But that's all over. In the 90’s, baseball went from whore to pimp to crackhead without batting an eye. Whore, because baseball stood there and winked knowingly while the owners and players conspired to sex up the game. Pimp, because basball stood there and winked knowingly while the owners and players screwed the fans out of a World Series in 1994. Crackhead, because baseball stood there and winked knowingly while the clubhouses morphed into drug dens.
Barry Bonds is gonna to break Mister Aaron’s record. But lemme tell you this. It won't mean a thing. No one, except the most out of touch fan, will take that man’s numbers seriously. Thanks to steroids, everyone’s gonna put a mental asterisk beside his mark. And it’s too damn bad. But that’s what you get when you’re so into yourself that you’re out of touch with the game and the fans.
And it’s not just Barry Bonds. Take Randy Johnson. Five Cy Young Awards. Just traded to the Yankees. First thing he does in New York? Roughs up a newspaper camera man. You’d think he’d be delighted to have his picture in the paper so his numerous fans could delight in the Big Unit’s handsome visage. But no.
You want more out of touch? Two years ago, I was at a Cactus League game in Arizona. Diamondbacks and the Angels. After the game, a hundred or so kids lined up at the fence to get autographs. When who should come walking by but multi-millionaire Curt Schilling? Doesn't even flash the kids a smile. Just walks on by like they don't exist. And I’m thinking, "You sorry sack of shit! You and Barry and Randy and all your fat-ass overpaid overweight circus-geek WWF compadres are exactly why no one cares anymore. You can all go fuck yourselves."
Sometime next year, or the year after, Henry Aaron’s career home run record is gonna be broken. Barry Bonds has 703 home runs. Hammering Hank’s record stands at 755. Just do the math.
Then ask me if I care.
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